This entire ordeal began last week, but it was actually triggered by the fact my GF has been bitching for over a month now that she and I don't TALK enough. She thinks I've been having an affair, that I've been ignoring her, that I hate her, all that sht. About two weeks ago, she decided out of the blue that my obsession with Grand Theft Auto has been the cause of our lack of communication (and her ongoing period). After a couple days, she begged the question "GTA or me, which do you choose?" I honestly answered I'd rather have her than any other game or system in the world, that I loved her more than anything, you know -- the usual corny relationship crap.

Then she asked "If you love me so much, why do you spend more time playing that fcking game than you do with me?" I explained to her that the game was just a little addictive hobby, that I'll eventually tire of it after I kill enough old women, or drive off enough buildings, or crash into enough trees. She tells me that the game has been tearing us apart, that whenever she wants to talk to me I'm playing that game, or any other on my XBOX 360. Of course she's exaggerating, I spend less than half the time playing the game than I do talking to her. I've consistently told her that the game isn't the problem. She's concerned that we don't talk enough, but why should she blame it all on some innocent game?

Eventually, she gets her double-period, and tells me that if I keep playing the game, she's dumping me. What can I say, this insane bitch thinks she can tell me what I can or cannot do? When she tells me this, I immediately block her on MSN, but she has more to tell me. She drives to my house, fcking breaks in, walks up to my room, and sees me playing the game. She starts to cry then, and then starts to scream "You know what? Fck it, you can have your precious little fcking game, since you clearly prefer it to me!" In reply, I tell her to calm the fck down and take an aspirin or two. This only enrages her some more, and she tells me I don't command her. I could tell by now where this was going, so I unpause the game and continue to rocket launch some cops.

"Oh, alright. I see! I fcking see." She almost has me scared from the tone of her voice, and she just attacks my poor XBOX, ejects the GTA CD, and throws it on the floor, stomping it to pieces. Startled and angry, I yell out a big WHAT THE FCK, and she just looks at me and calmly says "what are you gonna do now?" I get up from my bed and I grab the pieces and throw them at her, giving it to her as a fcking present. She leaves then, but I follow right behind her, ready to buy myself another copy of the game with HER money. When she gets in her car, I open the passenger seat and reach inside her glove box. She starts to punch the back of my head, but I hardly feel it. I knew she kept at least 50 dollars in there in case of emergency, and I take it. I go back inside my house with her on my tail, calmly but pseudo-maniacally asking for her money back. I get my car keys from the kitchen and go back outside. She tells me she's calling the police, but I ignore it. I drive off with her money to Gamestop and buy myself another copy of GTA.

When I return home, thankfully no cops are waiting by my house. Everything is in intact, no money is stolen, and my XBOX is still alive. I shower, then I go online to see if she's on MSN. Nope, must've blocked me, and she also must've deleted me on MySpace because I'm no longer her #1 top friend. Things remain empty and silent for a few days, when all of a sudden she calls my cell phone. I pick up, and she tells me she's sorry, but before I could reply, my phone runs out of battery. I charge it for a second and call her back, but she ignores my call. I leave a message, saying I'm sorry about everything, that I'll pay her back her money, and immediately after I close my phone, she calls me. I pick up and she tells me to go kill myself, that she'd rather fck her father than ever talk to me again. I'm just about to tell her again that I'm sorry, but of course she hangs up. I wait a couple minutes, for maybe she'll get the message I sent her just a minute ago, but unfortunately she doesn't call me back.

So instead of sulking in sentimentality, I pop in my new GTA CD and relax to the fact that maybe it's all finally over. But no, no it's not over yet. Later on that day I realize she didn't block me on MSN because she's still on the 'online' contact list section, so I unblock her and immediately tell her I'm sorry for everything. She tells me she'll forgive me if I give her her money back, and I tell her I already spent it on a new GTA CD. Big. Fcking. Mistake.

Of course she blocks me. And a few days later when she finally unblocks me, I'm just about ready to tell her I don't give a sht anymore about her, she suddenly sends me a picture, and once I finally receive it, she signs off. It's a picture of her making out with my best friend. I haven't said anything to the two of them recently, but when I see one of their faces again, just be assured it'll have a broken nose within five minutes of our encounter.